So there I am hiking up towards Engyo-ji, hoping for fresh spring air, some quiet, and an opportunity to clear my head. I plan to find a spot on the hilltops where I can sit and look out over the valley, eat my lunch and work out why I feel so out of sorts these days. Whenever I feel like this, I usually make a list of everything that bothers me, without any concern for how big or small each problem is; so a list can often include items such as ‘result of election’ and ‘broken shoe-lace’ side by side. I then go about fixing as many items as I can. Just lately, the problem has been that I can’t think of any items.
I stumble upon the fern glade I passed through a few times on previous walks. It is cool and silent. The peacefulness provokes me to shrug off my backpack and settle down. I sit cross-legged on the pack and open my thermos for a drink of tea. Then the phone rings.
‘Moshi moshi.’
‘Konnichiwa, Maaku-san,’ says Emi, using the cadence of Konnichiwa Aka-chan, the Japanese nursery rhyme.
‘Hi baby, how are you?’ I say, pleased it is her.
‘Genki desu. And you?’
‘I’m fine. What are you doing, having a lunch break?’
‘Maaku, you sound tired. Not fine.’ She’s pretty hard to fool, is Emi.
‘Yeah, you’re right. I’m feeling odd. I’ve just climbed a hill to find some peace, to feel that I’m above my problems.’
‘You need a holiday, ne?’
‘This is a holiday,’ I point out.
‘So maybe it is time to stop?’ she asks.
‘I don’t know. I’ve got this feeling of being pressured coming from somewhere, and I can’t figure out what’s causing it. I’ve been spending far too much time in that game, too.’ I’m also still troubled, I suppose, by the whole tyger debacle, but I don’t mention it. I sense tyger is a touchy subject with Emi.
‘The game,’ says Emi. ‘Are we in it now?’
‘That’s too hard to think about, Emi!’ I laugh. ‘But anyway, did you have any particular reason to call today?’
‘Just talk,’ she says, softly.
‘Thanks. I wish you were here. Are you at work now?’
‘Hai. At work… but I have to go soon, ne?’
‘OK. Well, thanks for calling. I needed it,’ I say.
‘Do itashimashite. Jaa, mata…’
‘Bye bye.’
